We had a big windstorm one year. My daughter and I walked
around the backyard surveying the damage. A very large fir tree had blown over.
It was laying on the ground with twisted roots showing.
We stood beside it; I saw the confusion on her face. As the
reality of what had happened hit her, she looked up at me. Her eyes were wet
and big; she seemed to feel the pain of the earth and the tree. I was not prepared for what came out of
her mouth…”Mommy, fix it.”
I felt helpless. I didn’t want her to feel this pain. I
wanted her to continue believing I could make everything ok.
I wanted the power she believed I had. I experienced myself
through her eyes. She viewed me as able to do anything. I didn’t want to let
her down; I wanted to live up to this image.
The birthplace of a cardinal “should.” I
should be able to be all things to my child. I should be Super Mom!
Underneath this “should” was the inner knowing that I couldn’t,
that I would fail. I now knew “I would
never be good enough.” What a burden. This haunted me for years, as it
haunts many parents. It was a belief that kept me from being able to be
authentic with my children.
Letting go of this belief, opened up many new options, and
paved the way for authenticity.
I learned to experience my daughter’s pain with her, but not
make it mine. Now, she was able to:
experience pain, know that it would be ok, know that we could handle it,
and, know that I would be there.
That is the source of my true power, and it is enough.
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